Walking in stride,fighting with pride,that is the lion which symbolise me

2010-08-28T22:49:00.000-07:00

I am ANGRY, FUCKING ANGRY, where are there so many STUPID people around!

Afterthought

2010-05-23T20:14:00.000-07:00

It's been a crazy year so far. Before i even realised it, NIE is over, practicum has passed. Its been almost a year since i graduated from NUS.

Churou asked me yesterday over lunch why I joined teaching in the first place.Hmm, There are so many reasons involved. The pay is good and it was offered to me during the recession. There is no office politics(Ya, right). You have school holidays. Then, there is the other side of the story. You can really make a difference to society through your students. Interact with young people and teach them what is on the syllabus and in your own heart.

In a way, teacher is a selfish bunch. We demand that people listen to us when we talk, enjoy the air of superiority when only we know and is the monopoly of the knowledge in the classroom, wants to feel good by knowing that we make a difference and likes to nag and be paranoid.

So if you ask me why i wanted to join teaching, honestly, I do not have an satisfactory answer for you because I do not even have one for myself.

P/S: My toy collection is growing at a increasing rate this year!!! So much for trying to curb my spending.

How far are you willing to go to please your kid?

2010-02-03T08:56:00.000-08:00

I found this incident disturbing. A mum actually went to make a baby cry just to please her daughter. As some of you knows, my mum is a baby sitter and what you don't know is how spolit and how her parents simply did not help her differentiate what is right and what is wrong.

The kid which my mum look after have a baby cousin and every night when her mum comes to fetch her, she will brought along the baby cousin cause the kid wants to play with her. Now this is where everything goes wrong. The kid's definition of paly is to treat the baby like a toy, making her laugh as she pleases and bully her as she wishes. Her current favorite is too stop the toddler from walking and making the toddler cries. And her mum actually helps her.

When I saw this, I got very angry. How can an adult bully a baby? What the FUCKING HELL!!! What the hell is wrong with her? I have to carry the baby and comfort her and I hope they can be ashamed of themselves. The kid's mum actually climbs up my sofa to run about to let the toddler chase her and when the toddler fails to catch up with her aunt, she will cries and the kid will laugh.

Utterly Digusting. I am ashamed to even say I know them.

My mum have been trying very hard to help the little kid differentiate what is worng and what is right. But her mum always do otherwise and my mum find it harder and harder to impart the right moral knowledge anymore.

Digusting, absolutely digusting..

Next year

2010-01-20T00:18:00.000-08:00

The old sofa in my house was finally being discarded away because mom finally decided to get a new one. Seing the new sofa, I wasn't as happy as I thought I would be. I even have this sense of "she bu de" as I took this picture.

Actually, the sofa started to break down a few years back. So long it was that I could not even remember. And everytime, the wood pieces under the handle fell off, we would stick it back with a 50 cents Da xiang pai super glue. And so were the two coffee tables.

And everytime when we were sticking the pieces back, mom would always say," I think we should get a new one somewhere near the next Chinese new year."

This line practically became a joke for the family because it has been repeated for so many times already. Well, as the TV show says, she de, yao she de cai you de.

Alcohol

2010-01-17T07:09:00.001-08:00

Went St. James last night to attend Crowd Lu's live performance there. Had a gin tonic there. Hmm, what should I say...Really don't like alcohol, not at all.. Beer is fine though...Hmmm

IPPT

2009-12-28T19:16:00.000-08:00

I finally passed my IPPT again. You may asked, what is the big deal, man? But for a 80 plus kg guy like me, who did not play any sports until like 20 years old, it is a big deal to me.

However, mindef shows no sign of record of this and I have to call them to retifcy this issue. Oh man...

Friends

2009-12-19T22:20:00.000-08:00

What are friends? - I heard some peoepl said before that friends are people for you to make use of when you needs help, when you have too much time on your hands?

For me, friends are people who would accompany on life's journey, through the harsh reality of the world, the sweetness and bitterness of life's unpredictable event, to provide comfort when one's heart and soul are in discomfort. While I am not a good or best friend to all, I always strive to be as loyal as I can be, provide as much help as I can whenever possible and accompany each and everyone through life's many ups and down.

I always tried to give in whenever possible but fails to do so on many occassion especially to many of my closest friends.

As this year comes to an end, I lament about how much things have changed. I might have lost two good and wonderful friends or did I not? I do not know. One would not talk to me anymore and the other treat me like a cold stranger. Perhaps they have their own difficulties or worries, perhaps they are just being normal and I am too sensitive but I know that things have definitely changed...

Early in the morning 6.45am

2009-12-04T14:45:00.000-08:00

It have been so long that I have woke up so early and choose not to fall back to sleep again. The last 3 days has been terrible. Runny nose, body feeling warm and cold at the same time and on Thursday, I have been hiccuping on and off even until today, in fact, it was my hiccuping in my sleep that woke me up.

This morning however is special. As I lie in my bed thinking of buster optimus prime and if I should add it into my ever-growing population of toys, I started thinking of my childhood. Back then, I did not have any transformer toy except for those fake one. And recently when I brought my first big sized optimus prime, it was like a dream come true to me. But, I have learn that man's desire cannot ever be satisfied.

As I now sitting in front of my dad, watching him eating his breakfast, I wanted to cry. I have now grown up and he, old. I watched him in his prime of his youth when he was in his 20s to his late 40s now. I still can remember the time where he would run with me when I was just 6, the time when I accidentally kicked my slipper into the canal and he went to climb down the canal to help me retrieve it. The time where I left my favourite cap in the mrt(never wore a cap since then), the time where he brought a bicycle for me. We were very poor then and a bicycle which costs $50 was really a big deal for the family. I only have my own bed when I entered primary 1, that explains my reluctance to change my bed. I just simply could not bear to throw away a bed that have already accompany for so many years.

I would be going for my first overseas trip next week and frankly speaking, I wished that my family could go too.

Soft

2009-11-08T20:20:00.001-08:00

I have became soft recently. No, it not soft as those uncle in their 50+ who are putting up a good front but is becoming soft in term of my personality. I have became very wary of stepping on people toes and am way too sensitive. I am so scared that people might be offended by what I have to say and I think that I am becoming someone which is not me and more like a person who have been staying at home for the past 20 years without any contact with the society. This is certainty not good.

On the bright side, I having my long weekend now with a bearable amount to work to do leisurely. How nice is that?

Chain combos

2009-10-22T11:43:00.000-07:00

I do not know why but NIE like to torture people by lumping all the assignments due dates together...Finally, Transformer 2 dvd is out and it costs 44.90, wtf. So expensive, but I just cannot resisted digging out my card to pay for it in NETS.
Recently, I been toying with the idea of getting a card even though I most probably don't need one. But if you don't get you never need, right? And after you got it, you will use it, correct or not? I typing in Singlish, damn it. Recently, I been having problem with this. Sometimes, I can write coherently in good english and sometiems, I just cannot. So weird. Anyway, I got 3 assignments due next week. How exciting is that?

Doing work in front of my Gundams

2009-10-01T11:51:00.000-07:00

I love to do work on my sturdy desk. Reason? As I look up, I will see my beloved Gundams all standing in front of me, Wing Gundam ver ka, force Impulse, justice, Saviour, Kyrios, Virtue, Freedoms, Double 0 and so on.
Really feeling hungry after a night of work.Especially after seeing the photos of HR's trip to bangkok. All the Street side hawker food. Especially the sotong balls. Drool...
Doing work make me feels good. Give me the feeling that I have accomplished something. Wasn't going to blog but I just want to blog a little, to tell that special someone who is sleeping now how I feel right now. Feel so sorry that I couldn't have mroe time for her because of my assignments. Hope she can see this. :)

Working on weekend is sooo wrong

2009-09-27T06:19:00.001-07:00

Life is now clogged full with assignments and my throat is not getting any better from eating the durian mooncake that I brought.
Feeling very bad lately. I have not much time for Miss huang and my friends. I have to keep rejecting their invitations and stuff. But hey, I basically like watching tv and doing work at the same time everyday. I just to need the TV for company when I am doinh work now. And the school Blackboard is still down.Haiz..
Lesson learnt, more planning, less procastination.

ICT

2009-09-24T06:13:00.000-07:00

Still struck for my Maths ICT worksheet design. I find it hard to use ICT to teach maths in a non-conventional type of way. Hope I can unclog my brain soon.

P/s: Really craving for some comfort food now, especially mcspicy. I could not even remember when was the last time I ate it already loh.

HTS

2009-09-22T06:45:00.000-07:00

HTS=hard to save. Something I realised after I started working. Whe you start earning more, you would really spend more and saving really depends a lot of 3 different factors.
1.How is your spending habits?
2.Is there any sudden events that require you to "dig" out your saving?
3.How strong is your determination?
So people, please plan your finance cause we are not yoing anymore and soon, we would need to buy some real big ticket items.

Monday 21st Stepember

2009-09-20T19:15:00.000-07:00

finally, will have my own trip overseas after 25 years. First time I stepped out of Singapore when I was in primary 6. The whole family went on a trip to the then uncompleted Genting Highland.
I woke up this morning feeling weird. We going to book the trip later but as I was brushing my teeth, I thought to myself," life is so full of uncertainy." I have never ever imagained tht my first trip overseas would be with my girlfriend. I thought it would be Tony and the others. Although, tony is also going with us and his sister too.

When I was talking to my mum just now over breakfast, she told me about how dad make her lose face again in public. Dad can be the most annoying person when you trying to talk thing out with him. He is of no reason. Totally nonsensical and a whole load of rubbish. Pissing everybody off with his dumber then moron kind of remarks. The thing is, we just trying to make him quit smoking and he will always rebuke with things like, "If I don't smoke, my heart will beat very fast."

As a Leo, I am like my mum, I hate to be embarrassed in public. I can be nice to you or even give in to you. But, if you ever shout at me, or embarrass me in front of many many people, then we get really really really PISSED.

p/s: Had to go bath now, just got a mission to deliver shoes.

Engibberish day

2009-09-16T06:29:00.000-07:00

Today in my "communication skill" lesson today, we learn about phonetics. It was a funny sight, me being a clown cause I knwo absolutely nuts about it. all the Tsks, burr.. etc weird sound and noises. Feel like killing myself. My confidence in class seems to be slowly coming back now.
There is a chinese saying that when you " 习武不练功,到头一场空". I think that really best describe my plight. I speaks too much mandarin at the expense of my spoken english. I have lose the use of it and I am now trying to find it back once more.
I now realise that it is actually hrad to blog everyday. Haha.

p/s: My throat seems to be getting better but the throat still feels a bit "thick". And I can't wait for it to fully recover so that I can eat Laksa.

Long weeks ahead

2009-09-15T06:22:00.000-07:00

Had a maths today and finally hand in my ICT individual essay. Thought I could finally take a breather but oops...

Haha, I had to admit NIE is not that Siong but the assignments seems to come in waves. That the hard part about NIE, I guess. Had a real lousy dinner. Thought going to have dim sum but end up eating economic bee hoon. Everytime, I pass by that stall, it would have a very long queue so I thought I would try it out today.

Turns out there is only two possibilites.
1. the food is really really not nice.
2. our taste buds are constructed differently from the other people living in pioneer.

p/s: Went to watch 9 last night. I think overall, the story, the atmosphere of the scene in it was really really nice just that it wasn't so action packed.

Monday

2009-09-14T01:12:00.000-07:00

Suddenly, all the due date for the assignments start to come in wave by wave. NIE is not really that tedious but the assignments date seems to be very close to each other.

Brought a camera last saturday. My first camera. So funny that after I brought it,I do not have a good place to keep it and have to actually hide it in my wardrobe. This is to prevent the little xiao mei mei in my house from finding it and playing with it. Mum says that it like the camera jian bu de guang.

My camera is Samsung ST550. The design is pretty(typical samsung product). Hope that I can test shot it soon.

Gundam and family

2009-09-10T10:06:00.001-07:00

Went back to Gundam Expo today again. It feels like a farewell trip actually where I am actually going to just have one last look at the expo before they tear down the whole thing on sunday. So many gundams, so many love. I grew to like the simple but majestic design of the Unicorn gundam. Unicorn is a bit squarish to me actually but I like it.
Biggest regret was that I couldnt get hold of MG destiny gundam Expo clear edition. At least I brought Chrome 1/144 HG Exia and 1/144 Gundam RX78-2 30th edition. I saw the last box of clear 00 raiser there. I almost brought it together with 1/144 HG Arios and Archer but in the end I decided against it. So paiseh, when I went up to them and told them, " Sorry but I think I want to cancel my order." There were many reason for this.
1. All my gundams from the year 2001 onwards are scale 1/100 ones. So when I finsih building my Chrome 1/144 HG exia, it feels weird seeing such a small gundam.
2. Clear 1/144 HG OO raiser does not have GN sword III and I already have a scale 1/100 OO raiser already.
3. Clear Arios and his lover's Archer is a bit overpriced if you compared it with OO raiser. Normal Arios is only $26 and the clear Arios and Archer set actually costs $58. OO raiser normal edition is $38 and the clear version is actually....$38.
4. I shouldn't just buy kits just because they are Expo limited items. Its like I just buying for the sake of doing so.
5. I only have my eyes on MG destiny clear version. And the other one that I really want now is actually Exia Ignition mode( I brought the normal one last month so I cannnot bear to buy another one). I don't understand why I am so bend on saving that $25. Oh, I remember, I overspend last month adn its was nead the end of the pay month when I went to buy the kit. Must remember to spend wisely from now on. (irony is that my day was actually in a few hours after I brought the kit). Haiz, I was telling my brother that this will be one of the regrets in my life.
6. I am trying to save money. Somehow, in 5 years time, I hope to be able to buy a Flat of my own and get married. And a 4 room flat now cost $300k. And I am still deep in debts with 2 months of pay in my pocket.

Talking of money, it is funny that some of my friends think that just because I started working, I should change my lifestyle. Dine more often in "fake" resturant where they charge you at double the price just because they are a "resturant".
Some think that I save too much. Funny that there is such a thing call "save too much" because most of the time, we save too little. They also think that I am being hard on myself eating in dirty places, having cheap food and don't know how to enjoy myself. The fact is, I don't feel that way. I agreed that dining in resturant is pleasant. There is air-con, you are being served(at xx++) and so on. But the fact is, my view towards money havn't really change that much. I don't mind splurging on a good meal on my love ones but sometime, I think it is really unneccesary to spend so much when just eating with friends for just a meal after badminton or normal meet-ups. And I don't feel that I am ill-treating myself by sticking to my old life stlye.
All these years, my family finacial status is those neither here nor there. Worse, with this recession, dad's pay drop until $1.2k. And he practically work like a dog. He reach home everyday at around 8 plus 9pm. And he start work everyday 8.30pm. He OT everyday for free cause he got a really BASTARD boss who is super super STINGY. Frankly speaking, I feel so sad sometimes that I really wanted to cry. And Dad didn't dare to quit then cause I was still in year 4. Even now, after I started work, I still do not have the ability yet to support the family. It make me feel kinda useless sometimes. I was actually quite pissed when Wangxin actually commented that I give my mum too much family allowance and I shouldn't do so. I got really pissed as I don't inderstand why he can said that.

P/s: I just finish a draft of my ICT essay and now, such a long post. Feel really good to be able to write some much at one go.

long tuesday

2009-09-08T07:38:00.001-07:00

Was late for class today cause I couldn't get on 199. For some reason, singaporean don't know how to move to the back of the bus, prefering to stand on the front half of it. Result: people who wanted to board the bus after the interchange cannot board.

Been 3 days, and I am still itching to go down to the Gundam Expo again. Wanted sooo much to buy the clear Master grade Destiny clear version. It is so shiny and clear and pretty. Finish building the chrome exia and it was simply shiny shiny. Nice.

Talk a little bit too much today and my throat start to feel a but itchy already. Well, till tomorrow.

Stress

2009-09-07T04:48:00.000-07:00

When you think the everyday pass by too quickly and each week too slowly, then my friend, you are under stress which is what I am currently going through. Life at NIE is not too tough or too easy, I suppose but I just can't help feeling a bit suffocated sometimes. The "failure" keep popping into my mind. I just not thinking positively and everything, the sleepy bug follow me everywhere. I would yawn like a drugless drug addict. Not having coffee doesn't help either as we all know, coffee does perk you up and more, it is an anti-depressant.
Today went by quickly too. Even though I did what I set out to do, I keep feeling that I did too little. The doctor say that it is because I am still trying to adapt to my new working lifestyle. All said, I will be more poitive and will learn to take things as it goes.

Trip to Gundam Expo

2009-09-06T07:09:00.000-07:00

Travel all the way from Choa Chu Kang to Sengkang on saturday. First time ever, Gundam Expo is being held in Singapore. Thanks dear chu rou for accompanying me there. I think she was quite bored there.
Actually, I wasn't very excited about going there but when I reach, that is a different story already. First thing that greet me was a 2m tall 00 gundam. Whoo hoo. A lot of event exclusive was on sale there. Clear 1/144 00 raiser, kyrios and archer, chorome plated exia, clear parts Master grade Destiny. Wanted to buy MG desinty clear version as I thought it was really cheap. Normal MG exia costs about $80 after 20% off there, but the event exclusive clear Exia costs only $90. Just $10 more. End up I didn't buy as the stock only arrives on Monday, sighs.
Anyway, I brought 1/144 chrome plated exia for $36.95. Paid and after walking aroun d for a while, I couldn't resist and went back to buy Gundam RX-78-2 30th edition scale 1/144 for 1/144. Wasn't going to buy RX78-2 at first as this version cannot transform into core slpendor. But, it is a replcia of the scale 1:1 RX78-2 statue in Japaan. So, must buy right?
Dear help me ask the cashier if we can combine the two receipts in order to hit $50 to get a bandai Recycle bag and a lucky draw ticktes. So nice of her. We went to watch G-force after that. Thought it was quite boring. Action? Nope. Humor? Nope. Story? nope.

Played badminton today using my new string. I do not know if it is because I didn't sleep enough or I still not used to the string, I actually miss quite a few shots. What more, my shots were not as powerful as the old string. Must be because of the enw tension, I guess. After badminton, Wnagxin dragged me and huiru to accomapny him for dinner. Huiru and me were supposed to just accompany him but in the end we went Xing'x cafe. Spending $30 enitled us to 20% discount. So in the end, as wangxin need to reach $30. huiru and me end up ordering food too. I ate the claypot rice. There were so many chinese sausages inside that I was actually fidning it a bit too salty.

Then, I went lot 1 to meet my parents for dinner. And I ate again. 2 meals in 2 hours. Oh dear. I am going to do some sit-ups now.:p

Fast fast thursday

2009-09-03T07:00:00.000-07:00

If you want me to describe today to you, I would use the word"blitz". I woke up at 6.30am. reach school at around 8.20am. Leave school at 11pm, reach home at 12noon. Watch Tv until 1pm then I got tired and lie on the bed and sleep all the way until 5.30pm. Half the day passed with me not knowing. HAIZ.
Anyway, got quite a few tasks done just now, watching TV and doing work at the same time.
The no-caffine routine is really killing me. I feel so tired everyday. I cannot drink coffee, cannot drink tea, cannot drink horlick nor milo. I drank instant Liang Cha in the morning, can you believe this? No milk as I cannot drink cold stuff in the morning. I vulnerable to "cold" during the morning.
Then mum ask me not to drink Liang Cha in the morning also as too much Liang Cha is not good for guys as it will make their balls big. What the heck.
Somebody, or anyone, please tell me what I can drink?

3rd day of the week is wednesday

2009-09-02T07:26:00.000-07:00

Went to school in my sandal today because I was rushing for time..Haha, actually deep down, I would prefer to wear relaxing clothes to school everyday.

Meet tony in the late afternoon to restring my racket. Was disappointed to see limited color and types of string availiable in the shop at bradell that I always go to. There only the normal purple, blue, and worse, white. White is a color that I would never ever string. There is only one red colored string but it is a BG65 string. BG65 is 0.70 mm thick. So no way I going to use that string. What more, the uncle's father seems to be in a very bad mood, first time I saw him like that. He was always smiling, and so fatherly. I think he might still remember us the last time when wangxin really piss him off real big time. This remind me of the fishhead bee hoon stall which I went yesterday. The stall owner there really got serious attitude problem.
Anyway, after my "bu yao lian" probing, I managed to make the uncle "dig" out his all other string. In the end, I choose a black BG66 Sharp string. Wanted BG80 nanology but there is only red for that string. Weird thing is, the uncle put back all the nice colored string into the drawer hidden from sight. It is as if he did not want to sell them. So funny.
Met up with wangxin again after that at AMK hub to watch Final destination in 3D. What can I say, the 3D effects was good but the scence was absolutely gory and distasteful. CLosed my eyes for many scenes. The way the writer make the character die is really tsk tsk tsk. Wangxin seems to enjoy it a lot. I can only say that he is sick. Edmund was ok while tony feel almost like me too about this movie.
Lesson tomorrow at 8.30am, groans..

P/s: Ate my first bak choy mee with chilli and pepper. Felt a bit guilty.

Day 2 of the week

2009-09-01T01:49:00.000-07:00

Went for my first Economics lesson today. Almost reach late. Not that I left my house late but two 199 drove past me full. Wait, they were not full but rather the people inside did not have the basic courteousy of moving in. As a result, a few fustrated nie trainees were struck at a stupid bus stop which were so near to the school but yet so far to reach.

I am the only person in the class taking mathematics as my CS2. I think my tutor wasn't quite pleased about it. She feels that Economics is something where you can relate more to our everyday life but not mathematics. I beg to differ. In my view, mathematics is like the foundation on almost everything that we have. We need mathematics for physics, engineering, accounting and so on. Even for Economics, there are a lot of mathemtaics involved, tools that can be used to prove certain theory. For example, the concept of convexity can help us explain the concept of opportuniy cost, increasing marginal return and things which is beyond my understanding. Game theory to understand how firms will react to their competitors.

Sadly, after 4 years of sturdying economics, I will still get struck at somewhere in my specialty. Many concept, theories that I am still not clear about, or discard as time goes by in my journey. I remember beiong ask by one lecturer to define "Full Employment" and it turn out that I do not know how and so does the entire class.

Anyway, my group leader is absent today again. It is so funny that two of my group member still do not know who she is or how she looks like.

A good chance to talk less

2009-08-31T00:27:00.000-07:00

Had this sore throat for like 8months. Its was tormenting. I would wake up almost each and every morning, not by my alarm but from the pain in the throat. Apparently, during the night when I sleeps, the throat would get dry and hence, the pain.
I finally decide that I could not take it anymore and went to a private doctor last saturday. And the truth is, my throat was okay but it seems that I have damage my vocal chord from all the screaming in the KTV last year end when I would desperately scream like a rocker wannabe in the KTV imitating Shen Mu Yu Tong aka Y2J. Well, the advice for me is to talk less, speak softer and No coffee, tea or anything acidic, sour, spicy blah blah blah. The no coffee and chilli part is really killing me softly as I am typing now. Where the joy in life when I cannot eat chilli.
Worse thing is that Churou doesn't know what to do and so do I. You see, we would talk on the phone every night before we go to bed. So imagine when we were trying to converse on the phone and I wasn't allow to speak much or if not nothing? She wasn't very receptive towards this but she know that I really really need to rest my throat or rather, my vocal chord. It is a rather big dilemna for her.
I met shu ning on the way to school today and she mention to me that shu xi got it worse than me. Shu xi just woke up one fine day unable to speak. And even after her throat recover, she couldn't speak as her brain had forgotten how to do it and she had to go for some speech therapy thingy.
Had a rather quiet day in school today with just one lesson. I finally brought a new bag from some shop call Graphite in bugis junction. Yong jing say its a pote bag. I not sure but its one of those bag where you can wear it as a sling bag or you can carry the handle or slinging your arm in the handle. Hard to describe. But when mum and dad first saw it on the sunday morning in the wee hour of 7am, I could hear them discussing on if I had brought a lady's bag in my bed with half of my soul still lost in the dreamy wonderland.

P/s:I only realise that this bag is a bit too small for me. But just as well, it will force me to travel light. Maybe I should have brought the bigger version instead.

Lost and Found

2009-08-24T19:58:00.001-07:00

Last week was really horrible. I really lost it big big time on thursday, being unreasonable and grumpy and wangxin suffer at my hands on friday. It is weird that sometimes, I can still be so childish and be actually angry at people whom I don't really know.
I lodged a complaint about a taxi uncle who actually cheated my cab fare on saturday, but my heart went soft yesterday. What if he lost his job? I hope I did the right thing in withdrawing my complaint.
Badminton yesterday was fun with some new people that I just met. First time in a long while badminton feels really fun again. The touch of the grip in my hand, the nice sound of my string hitting the shuttlecocks and some well-executed smashes, plus all the drop-shots. I have gotten so used to my friends' playing style, thus it was refreshing to see some uncertainty on the courts. They are not as strong as edmund and maybe even wangxin's and I bet that wangxin and me can already give them a run for their money in doubles but playing with them is really enjoyable.
Had dinner with dear in the night. We order quite a lot and I ended up eating most of the food, even her share. She said it was because her appetite had grew smaller already but I figure it was because she had a late and very full lunch at 2.30pm. Haha.

2009-08-24T19:58:00.000-07:00

2009-06-29T02:24:00.000-07:00

Today is the start of my Enhanced School Experience. Its feel kind of weird actually for various reasons. First of all, I had been through the Teaching Internship Program which is very similar to the ESE. Then, my ESE is at Pioneer Junior College, the place where I spent two years of my teenage youth at. I saw Mr Khoo today, my economics teacher for Year 2. Perhaps, JC year 2 is the time where my academic result was at its peak, not a very high peak but my economics result were at a all time high due to Mr Khoo's teaching and due to my MCP ego trying to win, in terms of economics result, the then girl of my life.

As I walk around the day, I came upon my batch's photo. So many memories came to me as I scan though the list looking for my class in search of my yesterday. And as I am now typing this, I realise that I did not look out for her in the groups of 2001-2002 pionner batch memory lane.

It is also sad to see that only Mr khoo and my PE teacher for JC1 remains in the new campus. And if there is only three teachers I can thank, they are my Pri one teacher, Mdm Kamaliya, My Pri 6 teacher, Miss low, and Mr khoo.

I hope that I can teach well and remains as who I am years from now. And if there is ever one day if I am going to leave teaching, I hope it is because I wish to have new challenges and not because I got sick of it.

2009-06-17T06:20:00.001-07:00

I finally couldnt resist the temptation to buy 00 raiser anymore so chong down to sunshine plaza...Funny as it is, I saw a OTAKU couple on the train when I was on the way there..It make me think of why some people can like anime soo sooo much and me, gundam. Perhaps, if I can choose again, I would become a full plegded OTAKU.

Somehow, the world for them seems simpler and easier for them...And they do not seems to care about what other perceive of them.

Ok, I am not in my very right state of mind now.

2009-05-07T02:14:00.000-07:00

Today mark the end of my education line. Not official but it is to some extend. I already 24 but sometimes, I just feel that what I had in me is never enough for me to deal with what life wants for me.
30 minutes ago, I realised I always lived a blessed life. I had a very healthy growing up experience. Life was calm but sweet with the occassional sorrow. My parents always protect me, set up a good example, impose good value morals into me. And so blessed I am that all my friends are pure, innocent honest and good folks. Or rather, I have choosen these to be my friends. Perhaps, all these causes me to become detach from reality.
I am a judgemental person. I like to judge people on what they do or even they did, strictly sticking to my sets of code of conduct.
I seldom stray, make mistakes,because I always weight the consequences dearly even the times during when I was a teenager. I dislike betraying people trust, especially thhose of my parents. Beleiveing all being to be responsible and innocent. Unknowingly, I had transformed myself into the almighty angel looking up from the sky, aloft from the cruel world of reality.
I expect people close to me to be like me.
But who am I to do so?
who am I to have expectations from others?
Who am I is to give value judgement on what right or wrong?
Who am I to decree that people should live a life burden by responsibility, weigh by value judgement like little old childish me?

I am the Lion, fearless to give whatever to whoever I hold dear, ruling over all that is around me and protecting all that is dearest and closest to my deep and honest heart.
Forgotten do I that the Lion is just an animal, noble as he is, divine he is not, with no control over time and space, past, future and others outside his realm. But, so strong and intense is his will to undo the wrongs he sees but so weak and feeble is his power to do all the right he wishes.
With his unforgiving heart that is as fiery as fire, while compassionately soft like water. It is unknown if one day, the fire will overrun the water or the water will overcome the fire.
Oh dearest all, I plead, give me the strength and the weapon to overcomes the bad in the heart, give me the hope and love to be forgiving. My fangs are for defence and my mane for hugs. Forgive me if I have ever bitten you and hug me around my mane so that I know that I am forgiven and loved by you.

New chapter, new beginning and you complete my life.

2009-03-13T05:24:00.000-07:00

We met at the end of 2008 and begin at the beginning of 2009. And I would never have imagine that a decision to go out to meet some new people would totally change my life.

I have long forgotten what it is like to be so happy, really really happy and to have a sense of responsibilty to someone. No words in the human language can translate the feeling of joy that I have everytime I receive her messages, the serenity I have when strolling with her, the warmth I have when we hug, the passion when we erhmmmmm.

Oh, the joy of knowing that everyday, every hour, every minute, every second, that there is someone who thinks of you constantly.
And the bitter sweetness of me thinking of her constantly every second, every minute, every hour, everyday.

On the way back after my jog after 2 months, I suddenly realised that I no longer wish for anything more. Everything is perfect, in place and beautiful. It is complete. Finally, I found the one girl who complete my life and can give light to my life.

She is not perfect but I do not crave for perfection. To be perfect is to be inhuman. That is why I never chase for perfection. It is because of imperfection that we find things beautiful and worth dying for. It is because of imperfection that we can constantly improve. It is because of imperfection that we can learn to live, to forgive and to really love one and other.

2008-11-07T06:45:00.000-08:00

I need some space, really, some place where nobody knows me and I can be alone for that few days where I can enjoy some serenity...Where I can walk around by me and myself.No, I not troubled or anything just that I want some romance with myself in a foreign land where coffee shops line the street and people spend their day lazing around, and walking around with no destination in mind and no purpose.

2008-11-02T01:36:00.000-07:00

Do people take you from granted? Its kinda irony that the people whom you care most about will take you for granted but you will take for granted the people who care about you.

2008-09-18T23:31:00.000-07:00

boring friday afternoon...haha...but i like the peace and quiet of the day...if only some things can get solved...

2008-09-17T06:42:00.000-07:00

So many had happened lately, whether it is in work, love(?). Wait, love? Do I even had one? sighs.

What doesn't change are my friends who are always there for me. I always act like I bullying them but I just tough on the mouth soft in the heart. But now, all of us are having a tough time, some of us are having love issues, unreciprocated love actually, while the others are very very stressed about their school work.

Hmm, lately there had been many misunderstandings about me and frankly speaking, i quite pissed by that. I always thought that in this world, there would be people who will look deeper into others and not just on the surface. But what you present to others will determine what others think of you.

Perhaps, I expect too much of others, to see the real me when I always wear an unconventional hairstyle, jokes around anything and pokes fun of people.

Work had been very tiring lately for me also. I always wondered why some guys can afford the time to be around their girlfriends all the time. Don't they have things to do?

It is certainty a tough period for me now...Perhaps I grown soft due to my easy student life.

Positive traits

2008-08-05T01:07:00.000-07:00

1. Silent worker
2. forward looking
3. loyal
4. Pride
5. adaptable
6. able to take charge and plan(sometimes)
7. Not afraid to admit any mistakes
8. Can be fun and serious
9. Can work even if in a very very very bad mood, It hard to drown myself in misery
10. responsible

Hmmm, like very weird,singing praises of myself. Haha...

My shortcomings

2008-08-04T05:09:00.000-07:00

1. Tends to do everything very fast
2. Fails and fails but I will just keep doing it...Don't know when to give up
3. Inconfident
4. Give people impression that I am not serious and very frivalous
5. Always hoped but always get disappointed - too optimistic
6. Take it hard on myself whenever anything went wrong
7. Jealousy
8. Bossy
9. Tendency to go out of my comfort shell, I know the solution but refuse to use it if it is not "me"
10. Believe in human will rather than heaven's - making my life miserable

I miss the time when I was a kid. Things were so much simpler and I could cry freely. Problems encountered recently have no solutions other than running...I seems to have everything yet nothing.

Birthday wish - I wish I can be stupidier and ignorant of other's perception.

New phrase

2008-07-28T00:54:00.000-07:00

It officially my first day of the holiday and yup, I feel that I had entered another new phrase of my life. New things to consider, new challenges, new outlook, new people and old people that I am considering changing the kind of relationship with them. And I have cleared my room for the 3rd? time this year. And honestly, after like 3hours, the before and after look the same. Sigh.
It is funny but I actually hunting for something to buy, to play with to keep me occupied but I have already have enough things to do and appointment at hand to last me until school starts. In fact, I do not even know if I have enough time to finish all my tasks...
There are like a dozen things in my mind right now. I hope they can get sorted out by this friday, well, at least 1 or 2 would be really nice for me.
But deep down, I know taht I am the same old me...tsk tsk

Happy Birthday!!!

2008-05-20T08:14:00.000-07:00

My brother turn 16 today. It feels like yesterday when I went to the hospital to fetch him and he pooed as I carry him in my arms on the taxi. I actually glad to be 8 yrs older than him cause I feel that it is because of this that we do not quarrel as much as other brothers. In fact, I do not recall us having any disagreement over anything at all in my memory. Either this is true or it is that my memory is failing me again.

Three days of reflection

2008-05-16T06:32:00.000-07:00

Some words from one of the fellow trainee...

When do you know when to stop giving?
Give to the extent until you feel pain. When you start to feel pain when giving to the students, it is a sign for you to stop. Cause giving more would not generate anything good anymore.
Take a step back and hold the rest for the others who may deserve it more or need it more.

阿郎的故事

2008-05-04T01:43:00.000-07:00

I do not know how many times I had watch this movie but it still have the power to bring tears to my eyes. I almost drop my tears. Mum, cried again for the, I don't know how many times. This is what I defined as a good movie. It is not so much about love. It is about a family.
All the recent idol drama, love story with two good looking idols on the screen always try to be pitiful while maintaining their hair, pimpleless face and those nice and expensive looking clothes. Did anyone realized that theses people could afford to take a cab everywhere, buy really nice shoes, don a nice jacket when they supposingly could only get a pay of $800 or less per month? The worst is when Dawn Yeo in their previous 9pm drama said that she only had $20 left for two weeks and she could 1)take a cab everywhere, 2)Get a pair of canvas shoes from converse 3)Have enough to eat, 4)Come out from a day of work being a chef without any smudge on her mascara and not a strand of hair out of place. How that for an idol?
No really, why can't these people be more "real" than "reel". Their so called sad and tragic love story are sooooo not tragic. Lost in love or forsaking a huge family fortune for love or working hard all day long is not, to me, things that are sad.I mean, what is so sad about all these stuff? Of course, there are a lot of really sad love stories out there but just not the recent ones.
BTW,Iron Man is GOOD.watch it.

少林少女

2008-04-30T09:07:00.000-07:00

Shaolin fist is the utimate fist there is...That is why, this movie is also going to be the utimate one...少林少女!!! That the cheesy lines by the commentor in the opening of this trailer. Now showing in theaters all around................Japan. Damn it.

Kou Shibasaki from Dororo, ssinking of japan as the strongest Shaolin female fist,
Kitty zhang yuqi - teacher from CJ 7 as Taiji girl
chi chung lam - aka qing gong flow on water in shaolin soccer
Kai man tin - aka tei bu shan in shaolin soccer
Yosuke Eguchi -Dr Satomi in white ivory tower

p/s:video taken from youtube...

Branding

2008-04-24T21:05:00.000-07:00

It's kinda of funny...I been branded by my friends in contradicting ways...One group of my friends say I am goody goody boy, while the other group say I am too beng...Other thinks that I am very lazy while some think I am quite hardworking...When I had centre parting last time, Kxxxxx says I am very beng. I keep side parting, wxxxxx says I am very beng. Now, I had almost no hair and txxx find that beng.WTF
Perhaps, I have been giving people the wrong message and protraying the wrong image, not that I purposely want to anyway. No matter how busy I am or how much work or effort I put in a task, I would not ever say it out like some what people did. I do not really know why some people like to always say, I been very busy lately blah blah blah cause I am doing blah blah blah...Or things like, I need to do this so that I can blah blah blah or you must blah blah blah.
My guess is that people like to protray to others the image that they are hardworking, guai guai and so on. I find this very "untasteful". Giving out an image that is more socially acceptable to society masks one "real" self. There will be one day when people can find the real you, then what happens?
Maybe it is due to this, that I tend to "protray" myself some notches lower than who I am. Cause if you can tolerate or even like, the "lousier" me, there is a higher chance of you liking the "real me".
Why is it that one have to prove to others that they are "dilligently" living out their life? Why is it that people tend to rate others at their face value. I guess that people just want to follow the rules of the society to be accepted but the rules or norm of the society are set by us, right?
Some also think that I am very carefree or heck care cause I always the joker around. To speak the truth, I joke only because I can't find anyone to entertain me enough. Have you ever went out in a group where it is so boring because everyone is just so quiet, unfun and tends to speak among their themselves leaving the few others to die by themselves. I joke in order to bring the whole group together so that everyone can have fun and I branded as a "clown" or someone who speaks rubbish. And sadly, it had become my habit.
No, I am not complaining, just whining...

Bumbling BEEs

2008-02-24T19:42:00.001-08:00

Wing Gundam Ver.Ka

2008-01-01T07:37:00.000-08:00

Unfair

2007-12-23T01:16:00.000-08:00

2007-11-05T08:24:00.000-08:00

I thinking of taking up squash. Have to start finding people who play that

Life

2007-10-30T05:20:00.000-07:00

Today is a day to be marked in my calender. For everyone, there is a so call unlucky day and today is my turn.
I am left "phoneless" by the staff at Nokia, forgot to take my water bottle after class and received a offline msg by Alxin that contained the F word. I hate it when people use vulgarities on others. I do not mind if poeple just let out a "fuck" or "chibye" to express their unhappiness but I hate people who use these words on other people. So imagine when I open my email and found another similar like email by alxin. We make up later during lecture.
Then at the bus stop,I found the girl that I really like there and I decided to "trash" things out with her at the bus stop which she aligned. I got turned down flat. Funny thing is I don't or rather I do not have any wish for her to be my GF yet. I just want to know her better and for her to know me better. Apparently, she was feeling uncomfortable knowing I like her. She ask me how can I like her when I barely know her and we keep talking in circles.
I don't know why,all this while, the girls that I like are all based on first impression. Up until now, I have quite a few crushes. Actually not a lot, about 5. However, those that I like them enough to let them know or I am sure that I like them is 2-ying2 and mic.
I hate to be pesky, that is so not my life philosophy. I don't know if she will read this,I don't know whether she would or not and honestly, I do not know if I wish for her to see or not.
I like her because her face becomes red very easily. That was the impression she left on me when we first met in class. Second time, when I saw her, I knew in my heart that I really like her. It is hard to describe beat I can describe is that there is just this messenge going into my brain and confirming to me that,"yup,it is positive that you like her." Third time I saw her, she was wearing a minnie mouse t-shirt and I kinda like it. And I noticed she got nice hands.I can go on and on but my point is,everytime I saw her,I found something about her that I like. I like it the way she speaks, how she laugh until the rice inside her mouth got spitted into my bowl, the way she speak chinese, her short hair and when she told me her weekend are for her family, her being in the band.She is also very hardworking and she keeps a dog, the way she walks...If possible, I still want to know more about her.
Having said that, I respect her every decision. I don't like to force people and I can't. I admit I was being pesky recently to her,sorry about that. When she send me that fateful sms, I actually knew what is going on,but me being me...how to you call that?Never give up until all is lost?
I ask her if we could still be friends, she said yes. I should be glad but her meaning of friends mean hi-bye friends. That is not "friends" to me.
I having mixed feeling right now...
I am happy for falling for such a wonderful girl.
I am sad because everything had ended.
I had this regret that we may not ever be friends that can go out for a meal and talk anymore.
I have no resentment about letting her go.
I am at peace because I learnt something about and it makes me more mature.
I come to understand that her being happy doesn't make me so but it doesn't matter.
Lastly, I want to thank all my frineds who had been rooting for me all this while,Alvin,Tony,zhilian,yongjin,chee xin and so on.
I still remember what happens 5 yrs ago when I give up on my first love due to my immaturity. I am still not mature enough but I am learning. Today,30th oct 2007 is a day which I will look back and smile in the future. A 2rd grade man drown his sorrow in beer,while a thrid grade man drown his sorrow in bed with a woman which he doesn't feel for. For me,I will just continue to walk on the journey of life.It is said that I am not suitable for love...could it be so?

2007-10-28T07:22:00.000-07:00

went for a concert last nite,it was..enjoyable..went with ZL,long time since we went out together, as in only him and me.
I always wanted to go for one,the concert,I mean. But, I just couldn't find anyone to go with. After that, went orchard to meet up with DJ and TY for dinner. We had japanese food and the katsu don was quite a disappointment. Apparently, everyone is getting cranky and stress recently and that include me.I can see that it is on the way home.That exclude ZL. ZL is like the opposite of me.He is super patient and I am super not patient.Frrankly speaking,I admire him for his patient and hardworkingness.
I always hated people who whine about life but it seems like I becoming one.Maybe I just vexed by the fact that I having writer block for a whole week, maybe I worried about my CAP.
argh,i dunno what I am writing anymore...
p/s:waiting to review my S/U

2007-10-24T07:17:00.000-07:00

Nick send me this which I think is quite funny but I think it is very true for like 80% of the students?they suppose to move but I can seem to make them move,you have to click on them one by one...sorry

New school semester:

At the first week:

At the second week:

Before the mid-term test:

During the mid-term test:

After the mid-term test:

Once know the final exam schedule:

7 days before final exam:

6 days before final exam:

5 days before final exam:

4 days before final exam:

3 days before final exam:

2 days before final exam:

1 day before final exam:

A night before final exam:

1 hour before final exam:

During the final exam:

Once walk out from the exam hall:

After the final exam, during the holiday:

2007-10-19T06:35:00.000-07:00

Whenever I take 188 to school in the afternoon, I will keep a look out when the bus reaches bukit batok block 108.Why? There is this coffee shop there that seems to be crowded with old ah peks. Strange is that, only ah peks and no aunties or any others. Best guess would be they are retired ah peks with nowhere to go and spend their time. I really wonder what they are thinking in their mind, or are they?
When I am old and retired, wonder if I would be like them...

2007-10-15T06:25:00.000-07:00

First 2 eps of Gundam 00 look to be promising..If nothing else goes wrong,I think that it will be another well loved series.

2007-10-13T11:26:00.001-07:00

Recently,I havn't been as patient as I used to be for my friends, even the girls. I think that it is because the same few people always irriate me in the same way repeatedly that I just can't be bothered anymore.
I know that it is just part of their character but I can't show the same magnimousity(dunno spelling) anymore.Hmm,need to more posititve.

Little bro borrow fifa 2007 from his friends and it was quite fun playing. Problem is both of us don't watch socccer. What I know about soccer is only limited to chelsea,man u and liverpool and addias sponsor liverpool. What little bro know about soccer is that a soccer boot model call predator and he happen to have the normal version of it.

8 days, erhmm no,it's actually 8 flips

2007-10-10T22:06:00.001-07:00

Was queueing up at shop n save yesterday to pay for just a box of chocolate and nachos at the "express", 5 items and below(the uncle in front obviously do not care)counter, when out of boredom took a quick glimpse at the magazine section.

As usual, I will look at the covers of FHM and maxim, trying to guess or recognise the cover girls (these days, I couldn't recognise the cover girl anymore,I used to be able to) then, I saw 8 days. The last time I remember that I brought a copy of 8days was like 2yrs ago?Strangely,I thought to myself...Why not just buy one?
Even though the cover was Jacelyn tay in fur(I never really like her,whether she is in fur or not, sorry), I took one copy and pay.

Reach home,flip though the magazine in like 2mins?(I always flip from the back to the front). Flip again,ohhh, there a website about people taking funny pictures of shit. Flip again, there actually a section on horoscope. flip again, okay,I'll just read next week drama's spoilers.Flip again,nothing happens.I been flipping it for like 8times already up to now...
Now, why did I brought it in the first place?

P/s:back to my study for tomorrow's test.

2007-10-08T08:42:00.001-07:00

had a crazy weekend...this is how it went...

last thu- financial econ assignment,went back home study for friday test.
fri evening - nano world test,went back home study for saturday test, before which I went sembawang to pick up my 881 ost 2
sat morning - genes and society test, then went back home to study and think about proposal.
sun - study for monday's test, map out the skeleton of my proposal.
mon - macro econ 2 test and due date for fin.econ proposal

So,today kinda feel like friday to me cause things start to cool down.But, there still a test on friday, phew.And I got 4 term papers due early next month...

What I really want now is a nice afternoon at GJ drinking latte with whoever that I can have a nice long meaningless chat with...

P/S: kono seikai ni kami ga inai...by Setsuna F. Seiei, pilot of gundam exia

Stong and weak

2007-10-04T00:49:00.000-07:00

To me,the most difficult thing to learn,to know and to master is the relationship between people or rather,between 2 living creatures?

The only people who can hurt you(emotionally) are the one that you care about,
thus,the one whom you may hurt,intentionally or not, are also the one who really cares about you.

few are strong
but without any support
they become the weak.

many are weak,
but with love(whatever type of,family,friends blah blah blah),
they become the strong.

Sometimes when you are too strong,you tend to settle thing by yourself as you are able to. Thus, as time goes by,people around you tend to think you do not need any help.
Whereas if you are more dependent, people tend to look out for you more and thus, whenever if you are in trouble, helps flocks from all around.

Sometimes, even though we are able to solve our own problems, we just want others to show us concern to let us know that they are there for us.

I think this is what my friend wants judging from what he wrote on his blog.(no,its not alvin or kelvin)

p/s:feeling a bit moody yesterday,so on the journey home,came up with these on the bus after reading one of my friend's post.And I am not writing in a smooth flow again.well well,if you can understand,good,if no,then like that loh.

2007-10-02T05:47:00.000-07:00

Busy busy busy,the whole school is busy including me.I printing stuff as I type.
Brought a new phone on saturday,it is a 3g phone but I can't make 3g call.why leh?Because the engineer at nokia cock up,I suppose to go down to any nokia care center to fix my phone(actually just to let them update the firmware) but I just cant find time to do so,not at least until after next monday...

P/s:I want to make video call so guys,pls change to 3g phone leh.
waiting for 881 ost 2.

2007-09-28T06:43:00.000-07:00

The lion roams,
looking for its rightful mistress
one who will make it yield,
forsake its noblity and most importantly,
its fragile pride,
and to serve, until the end of eternity...

Suddenly,the world seems to be so quiet,
and so still...
Everything is still moving,
the earth is still revolving,
but what the great beast feels,
is nothing and everything...

p/s:first time writing such stuff.ok,I just wrote for fun.

Still struggling with my proposal...think too long didnt take very "arty" modules so lost ability to crap. So just wrote some stuff to recharge the thing inside my skull, aka brain.

Waiting and waiting

2007-09-25T19:10:00.000-07:00

I now spend everyday waiting cause the new album of FIR and the 2rd OST of 881 would be out this week and I don't have any idea when is it. But on the other hand,I want time to move as slowly as possible cause I want to get more stuff done.Kind of contradicting.

I don't know why but all the guys in school that I know and meet recently don't really study or want to.

And I wasted like 1 hr doing nothing in the canteen yesterday. wau lau,heartpain loh.

2007-09-11T17:06:00.000-07:00

I have so many things that I want to let free from me and I really don't know how to say...craving for another latte and yes,it's official,latte is my favourite,not mocha. Also,who know how to pronounce augustus?Is there such a word?

time 4.20am

2007-08-31T13:24:00.000-07:00

It now time 4.20am.Just finally building my MG strike freedom.spent the last 4 hrs putting on the limbs armour.think it should be the longest yet that I took to build a gundam. Need to keep my mind away from irrelevant thoughts...I never told anyone before but I could never sleep on friday night since I don't know when...

2007-08-30T03:56:00.000-07:00

2007-08-30T03:51:00.000-07:00

For some reason,I cant log in to my old blog so I decided to restart everything...