I am ANGRY, FUCKING ANGRY, where are there so many STUPID people around!

Afterthought

It's been a crazy year so far. Before i even realised it, NIE is over, practicum has passed. Its been almost a year since i graduated from NUS.

Churou asked me yesterday over lunch why I joined teaching in the first place.Hmm, There are so many reasons involved. The pay is good and it was offered to me during the recession. There is no office politics(Ya, right). You have school holidays. Then, there is the other side of the story. You can really make a difference to society through your students. Interact with young people and teach them what is on the syllabus and in your own heart.

In a way, teacher is a selfish bunch. We demand that people listen to us when we talk, enjoy the air of superiority when only we know and is the monopoly of the knowledge in the classroom, wants to feel good by knowing that we make a difference and likes to nag and be paranoid.

So if you ask me why i wanted to join teaching, honestly, I do not have an satisfactory answer for you because I do not even have one for myself.

P/S: My toy collection is growing at a increasing rate this year!!! So much for trying to curb my spending.

How far are you willing to go to please your kid?

I found this incident disturbing. A mum actually went to make a baby cry just to please her daughter. As some of you knows, my mum is a baby sitter and what you don't know is how spolit and how her parents simply did not help her differentiate what is right and what is wrong.

The kid which my mum look after have a baby cousin and every night when her mum comes to fetch her, she will brought along the baby cousin cause the kid wants to play with her. Now this is where everything goes wrong. The kid's definition of paly is to treat the baby like a toy, making her laugh as she pleases and bully her as she wishes. Her current favorite is too stop the toddler from walking and making the toddler cries. And her mum actually helps her.

When I saw this, I got very angry. How can an adult bully a baby? What the FUCKING HELL!!! What the hell is wrong with her? I have to carry the baby and comfort her and I hope they can be ashamed of themselves. The kid's mum actually climbs up my sofa to run about to let the toddler chase her and when the toddler fails to catch up with her aunt, she will cries and the kid will laugh.

Utterly Digusting. I am ashamed to even say I know them.

My mum have been trying very hard to help the little kid differentiate what is worng and what is right. But her mum always do otherwise and my mum find it harder and harder to impart the right moral knowledge anymore.

Digusting, absolutely digusting..

Next year

The old sofa in my house was finally being discarded away because mom finally decided to get a new one. Seing the new sofa, I wasn't as happy as I thought I would be. I even have this sense of "she bu de" as I took this picture.

Actually, the sofa started to break down a few years back. So long it was that I could not even remember. And everytime, the wood pieces under the handle fell off, we would stick it back with a 50 cents Da xiang pai super glue. And so were the two coffee tables.

And everytime when we were sticking the pieces back, mom would always say," I think we should get a new one somewhere near the next Chinese new year."

This line practically became a joke for the family because it has been repeated for so many times already. Well, as the TV show says, she de, yao she de cai you de.

Alcohol

Went St. James last night to attend Crowd Lu's live performance there. Had a gin tonic there. Hmm, what should I say...Really don't like alcohol, not at all.. Beer is fine though...Hmmm

IPPT

I finally passed my IPPT again. You may asked, what is the big deal, man? But for a 80 plus kg guy like me, who did not play any sports until like 20 years old, it is a big deal to me.

However, mindef shows no sign of record of this and I have to call them to retifcy this issue. Oh man...

Friends

What are friends? - I heard some peoepl said before that friends are people for you to make use of when you needs help, when you have too much time on your hands?

For me, friends are people who would accompany on life's journey, through the harsh reality of the world, the sweetness and bitterness of life's unpredictable event, to provide comfort when one's heart and soul are in discomfort. While I am not a good or best friend to all, I always strive to be as loyal as I can be, provide as much help as I can whenever possible and accompany each and everyone through life's many ups and down.

I always tried to give in whenever possible but fails to do so on many occassion especially to many of my closest friends.

As this year comes to an end, I lament about how much things have changed. I might have lost two good and wonderful friends or did I not? I do not know. One would not talk to me anymore and the other treat me like a cold stranger. Perhaps they have their own difficulties or worries, perhaps they are just being normal and I am too sensitive but I know that things have definitely changed...

Early in the morning 6.45am

It have been so long that I have woke up so early and choose not to fall back to sleep again. The last 3 days has been terrible. Runny nose, body feeling warm and cold at the same time and on Thursday, I have been hiccuping on and off even until today, in fact, it was my hiccuping in my sleep that woke me up.

This morning however is special. As I lie in my bed thinking of buster optimus prime and if I should add it into my ever-growing population of toys, I started thinking of my childhood. Back then, I did not have any transformer toy except for those fake one. And recently when I brought my first big sized optimus prime, it was like a dream come true to me. But, I have learn that man's desire cannot ever be satisfied.

As I now sitting in front of my dad, watching him eating his breakfast, I wanted to cry. I have now grown up and he, old. I watched him in his prime of his youth when he was in his 20s to his late 40s now. I still can remember the time where he would run with me when I was just 6, the time when I accidentally kicked my slipper into the canal and he went to climb down the canal to help me retrieve it. The time where I left my favourite cap in the mrt(never wore a cap since then), the time where he brought a bicycle for me. We were very poor then and a bicycle which costs $50 was really a big deal for the family. I only have my own bed when I entered primary 1, that explains my reluctance to change my bed. I just simply could not bear to throw away a bed that have already accompany for so many years.

I would be going for my first overseas trip next week and frankly speaking, I wished that my family could go too.

Soft

I have became soft recently. No, it not soft as those uncle in their 50+ who are putting up a good front but is becoming soft in term of my personality. I have became very wary of stepping on people toes and am way too sensitive. I am so scared that people might be offended by what I have to say and I think that I am becoming someone which is not me and more like a person who have been staying at home for the past 20 years without any contact with the society. This is certainty not good.

On the bright side, I having my long weekend now with a bearable amount to work to do leisurely. How nice is that?

Chain combos

I do not know why but NIE like to torture people by lumping all the assignments due dates together...Finally, Transformer 2 dvd is out and it costs 44.90, wtf. So expensive, but I just cannot resisted digging out my card to pay for it in NETS.
Recently, I been toying with the idea of getting a card even though I most probably don't need one. But if you don't get you never need, right? And after you got it, you will use it, correct or not? I typing in Singlish, damn it. Recently, I been having problem with this. Sometimes, I can write coherently in good english and sometiems, I just cannot. So weird. Anyway, I got 3 assignments due next week. How exciting is that?

Doing work in front of my Gundams

I love to do work on my sturdy desk. Reason? As I look up, I will see my beloved Gundams all standing in front of me, Wing Gundam ver ka, force Impulse, justice, Saviour, Kyrios, Virtue, Freedoms, Double 0 and so on.
Really feeling hungry after a night of work.Especially after seeing the photos of HR's trip to bangkok. All the Street side hawker food. Especially the sotong balls. Drool...
Doing work make me feels good. Give me the feeling that I have accomplished something. Wasn't going to blog but I just want to blog a little, to tell that special someone who is sleeping now how I feel right now. Feel so sorry that I couldn't have mroe time for her because of my assignments. Hope she can see this. :)

Working on weekend is sooo wrong

Life is now clogged full with assignments and my throat is not getting any better from eating the durian mooncake that I brought.
Feeling very bad lately. I have not much time for Miss huang and my friends. I have to keep rejecting their invitations and stuff. But hey, I basically like watching tv and doing work at the same time everyday. I just to need the TV for company when I am doinh work now. And the school Blackboard is still down.Haiz..
Lesson learnt, more planning, less procastination.

ICT

Still struck for my Maths ICT worksheet design. I find it hard to use ICT to teach maths in a non-conventional type of way. Hope I can unclog my brain soon.

P/s: Really craving for some comfort food now, especially mcspicy. I could not even remember when was the last time I ate it already loh.

HTS

HTS=hard to save. Something I realised after I started working. Whe you start earning more, you would really spend more and saving really depends a lot of 3 different factors.
1.How is your spending habits?
2.Is there any sudden events that require you to "dig" out your saving?
3.How strong is your determination?
So people, please plan your finance cause we are not yoing anymore and soon, we would need to buy some real big ticket items.

Monday 21st Stepember

finally, will have my own trip overseas after 25 years. First time I stepped out of Singapore when I was in primary 6. The whole family went on a trip to the then uncompleted Genting Highland.
I woke up this morning feeling weird. We going to book the trip later but as I was brushing my teeth, I thought to myself," life is so full of uncertainy." I have never ever imagained tht my first trip overseas would be with my girlfriend. I thought it would be Tony and the others. Although, tony is also going with us and his sister too.

When I was talking to my mum just now over breakfast, she told me about how dad make her lose face again in public. Dad can be the most annoying person when you trying to talk thing out with him. He is of no reason. Totally nonsensical and a whole load of rubbish. Pissing everybody off with his dumber then moron kind of remarks. The thing is, we just trying to make him quit smoking and he will always rebuke with things like, "If I don't smoke, my heart will beat very fast."

As a Leo, I am like my mum, I hate to be embarrassed in public. I can be nice to you or even give in to you. But, if you ever shout at me, or embarrass me in front of many many people, then we get really really really PISSED.

p/s: Had to go bath now, just got a mission to deliver shoes.

Engibberish day

Today in my "communication skill" lesson today, we learn about phonetics. It was a funny sight, me being a clown cause I knwo absolutely nuts about it. all the Tsks, burr.. etc weird sound and noises. Feel like killing myself. My confidence in class seems to be slowly coming back now.
There is a chinese saying that when you " 习武不练功,到头一场空". I think that really best describe my plight. I speaks too much mandarin at the expense of my spoken english. I have lose the use of it and I am now trying to find it back once more.
I now realise that it is actually hrad to blog everyday. Haha.

p/s: My throat seems to be getting better but the throat still feels a bit "thick". And I can't wait for it to fully recover so that I can eat Laksa.

Long weeks ahead

Had a maths today and finally hand in my ICT individual essay. Thought I could finally take a breather but oops...

Haha, I had to admit NIE is not that Siong but the assignments seems to come in waves. That the hard part about NIE, I guess. Had a real lousy dinner. Thought going to have dim sum but end up eating economic bee hoon. Everytime, I pass by that stall, it would have a very long queue so I thought I would try it out today.

Turns out there is only two possibilites.
1. the food is really really not nice.
2. our taste buds are constructed differently from the other people living in pioneer.

p/s: Went to watch 9 last night. I think overall, the story, the atmosphere of the scene in it was really really nice just that it wasn't so action packed.

Monday

Suddenly, all the due date for the assignments start to come in wave by wave. NIE is not really that tedious but the assignments date seems to be very close to each other.

Brought a camera last saturday. My first camera. So funny that after I brought it,I do not have a good place to keep it and have to actually hide it in my wardrobe. This is to prevent the little xiao mei mei in my house from finding it and playing with it. Mum says that it like the camera jian bu de guang.

My camera is Samsung ST550. The design is pretty(typical samsung product). Hope that I can test shot it soon.

Gundam and family

Went back to Gundam Expo today again. It feels like a farewell trip actually where I am actually going to just have one last look at the expo before they tear down the whole thing on sunday. So many gundams, so many love. I grew to like the simple but majestic design of the Unicorn gundam. Unicorn is a bit squarish to me actually but I like it.
Biggest regret was that I couldnt get hold of MG destiny gundam Expo clear edition. At least I brought Chrome 1/144 HG Exia and 1/144 Gundam RX78-2 30th edition. I saw the last box of clear 00 raiser there. I almost brought it together with 1/144 HG Arios and Archer but in the end I decided against it. So paiseh, when I went up to them and told them, " Sorry but I think I want to cancel my order." There were many reason for this.
1. All my gundams from the year 2001 onwards are scale 1/100 ones. So when I finsih building my Chrome 1/144 HG exia, it feels weird seeing such a small gundam.
2. Clear 1/144 HG OO raiser does not have GN sword III and I already have a scale 1/100 OO raiser already.
3. Clear Arios and his lover's Archer is a bit overpriced if you compared it with OO raiser. Normal Arios is only $26 and the clear Arios and Archer set actually costs $58. OO raiser normal edition is $38 and the clear version is actually....$38.
4. I shouldn't just buy kits just because they are Expo limited items. Its like I just buying for the sake of doing so.
5. I only have my eyes on MG destiny clear version. And the other one that I really want now is actually Exia Ignition mode( I brought the normal one last month so I cannnot bear to buy another one). I don't understand why I am so bend on saving that $25. Oh, I remember, I overspend last month adn its was nead the end of the pay month when I went to buy the kit. Must remember to spend wisely from now on. (irony is that my day was actually in a few hours after I brought the kit). Haiz, I was telling my brother that this will be one of the regrets in my life.
6. I am trying to save money. Somehow, in 5 years time, I hope to be able to buy a Flat of my own and get married. And a 4 room flat now cost $300k. And I am still deep in debts with 2 months of pay in my pocket.

Talking of money, it is funny that some of my friends think that just because I started working, I should change my lifestyle. Dine more often in "fake" resturant where they charge you at double the price just because they are a "resturant".
Some think that I save too much. Funny that there is such a thing call "save too much" because most of the time, we save too little. They also think that I am being hard on myself eating in dirty places, having cheap food and don't know how to enjoy myself. The fact is, I don't feel that way. I agreed that dining in resturant is pleasant. There is air-con, you are being served(at xx++) and so on. But the fact is, my view towards money havn't really change that much. I don't mind splurging on a good meal on my love ones but sometime, I think it is really unneccesary to spend so much when just eating with friends for just a meal after badminton or normal meet-ups. And I don't feel that I am ill-treating myself by sticking to my old life stlye.
All these years, my family finacial status is those neither here nor there. Worse, with this recession, dad's pay drop until $1.2k. And he practically work like a dog. He reach home everyday at around 8 plus 9pm. And he start work everyday 8.30pm. He OT everyday for free cause he got a really BASTARD boss who is super super STINGY. Frankly speaking, I feel so sad sometimes that I really wanted to cry. And Dad didn't dare to quit then cause I was still in year 4. Even now, after I started work, I still do not have the ability yet to support the family. It make me feel kinda useless sometimes. I was actually quite pissed when Wangxin actually commented that I give my mum too much family allowance and I shouldn't do so. I got really pissed as I don't inderstand why he can said that.

P/s: I just finish a draft of my ICT essay and now, such a long post. Feel really good to be able to write some much at one go.

long tuesday

Was late for class today cause I couldn't get on 199. For some reason, singaporean don't know how to move to the back of the bus, prefering to stand on the front half of it. Result: people who wanted to board the bus after the interchange cannot board.

Been 3 days, and I am still itching to go down to the Gundam Expo again. Wanted sooo much to buy the clear Master grade Destiny clear version. It is so shiny and clear and pretty. Finish building the chrome exia and it was simply shiny shiny. Nice.

Talk a little bit too much today and my throat start to feel a but itchy already. Well, till tomorrow.