Today is the start of my Enhanced School Experience. Its feel kind of weird actually for various reasons. First of all, I had been through the Teaching Internship Program which is very similar to the ESE. Then, my ESE is at Pioneer Junior College, the place where I spent two years of my teenage youth at. I saw Mr Khoo today, my economics teacher for Year 2. Perhaps, JC year 2 is the time where my academic result was at its peak, not a very high peak but my economics result were at a all time high due to Mr Khoo's teaching and due to my MCP ego trying to win, in terms of economics result, the then girl of my life.

As I walk around the day, I came upon my batch's photo. So many memories came to me as I scan though the list looking for my class in search of my yesterday. And as I am now typing this, I realise that I did not look out for her in the groups of 2001-2002 pionner batch memory lane.

It is also sad to see that only Mr khoo and my PE teacher for JC1 remains in the new campus. And if there is only three teachers I can thank, they are my Pri one teacher, Mdm Kamaliya, My Pri 6 teacher, Miss low, and Mr khoo.


I hope that I can teach well and remains as who I am years from now. And if there is ever one day if I am going to leave teaching, I hope it is because I wish to have new challenges and not because I got sick of it.

I finally couldnt resist the temptation to buy 00 raiser anymore so chong down to sunshine plaza...Funny as it is, I saw a OTAKU couple on the train when I was on the way there..It make me think of why some people can like anime soo sooo much and me, gundam. Perhaps, if I can choose again, I would become a full plegded OTAKU.

Somehow, the world for them seems simpler and easier for them...And they do not seems to care about what other perceive of them.

Ok, I am not in my very right state of mind now.

Today mark the end of my education line. Not official but it is to some extend. I already 24 but sometimes, I just feel that what I had in me is never enough for me to deal with what life wants for me.
30 minutes ago, I realised I always lived a blessed life. I had a very healthy growing up experience. Life was calm but sweet with the occassional sorrow. My parents always protect me, set up a good example, impose good value morals into me. And so blessed I am that all my friends are pure, innocent honest and good folks. Or rather, I have choosen these to be my friends. Perhaps, all these causes me to become detach from reality.
I am a judgemental person. I like to judge people on what they do or even they did, strictly sticking to my sets of code of conduct.
I seldom stray, make mistakes,because I always weight the consequences dearly even the times during when I was a teenager. I dislike betraying people trust, especially thhose of my parents. Beleiveing all being to be responsible and innocent. Unknowingly, I had transformed myself into the almighty angel looking up from the sky, aloft from the cruel world of reality.
I expect people close to me to be like me.
But who am I to do so?
who am I to have expectations from others?
Who am I is to give value judgement on what right or wrong?
Who am I to decree that people should live a life burden by responsibility, weigh by value judgement like little old childish me?

I am the Lion, fearless to give whatever to whoever I hold dear, ruling over all that is around me and protecting all that is dearest and closest to my deep and honest heart.
Forgotten do I that the Lion is just an animal, noble as he is, divine he is not, with no control over time and space, past, future and others outside his realm. But, so strong and intense is his will to undo the wrongs he sees but so weak and feeble is his power to do all the right he wishes.
With his unforgiving heart that is as fiery as fire, while compassionately soft like water. It is unknown if one day, the fire will overrun the water or the water will overcome the fire.
Oh dearest all, I plead, give me the strength and the weapon to overcomes the bad in the heart, give me the hope and love to be forgiving. My fangs are for defence and my mane for hugs. Forgive me if I have ever bitten you and hug me around my mane so that I know that I am forgiven and loved by you.

New chapter, new beginning and you complete my life.

We met at the end of 2008 and begin at the beginning of 2009. And I would never have imagine that a decision to go out to meet some new people would totally change my life.

I have long forgotten what it is like to be so happy, really really happy and to have a sense of responsibilty to someone. No words in the human language can translate the feeling of joy that I have everytime I receive her messages, the serenity I have when strolling with her, the warmth I have when we hug, the passion when we erhmmmmm.

Oh, the joy of knowing that everyday, every hour, every minute, every second, that there is someone who thinks of you constantly.
And the bitter sweetness of me thinking of her constantly every second, every minute, every hour, everyday.

On the way back after my jog after 2 months, I suddenly realised that I no longer wish for anything more. Everything is perfect, in place and beautiful. It is complete. Finally, I found the one girl who complete my life and can give light to my life.

She is not perfect but I do not crave for perfection. To be perfect is to be inhuman. That is why I never chase for perfection. It is because of imperfection that we find things beautiful and worth dying for. It is because of imperfection that we can constantly improve. It is because of imperfection that we can learn to live, to forgive and to really love one and other.

I need some space, really, some place where nobody knows me and I can be alone for that few days where I can enjoy some serenity...Where I can walk around by me and myself.No, I not troubled or anything just that I want some romance with myself in a foreign land where coffee shops line the street and people spend their day lazing around, and walking around with no destination in mind and no purpose.

Do people take you from granted? Its kinda irony that the people whom you care most about will take you for granted but you will take for granted the people who care about you.

boring friday afternoon...haha...but i like the peace and quiet of the day...if only some things can get solved...