Thursday, May 7, 2009


Today mark the end of my education line. Not official but it is to some extend. I already 24 but sometimes, I just feel that what I had in me is never enough for me to deal with what life wants for me.
30 minutes ago, I realised I always lived a blessed life. I had a very healthy growing up experience. Life was calm but sweet with the occassional sorrow. My parents always protect me, set up a good example, impose good value morals into me. And so blessed I am that all my friends are pure, innocent honest and good folks. Or rather, I have choosen these to be my friends. Perhaps, all these causes me to become detach from reality.
I am a judgemental person. I like to judge people on what they do or even they did, strictly sticking to my sets of code of conduct.
I seldom stray, make mistakes,because I always weight the consequences dearly even the times during when I was a teenager. I dislike betraying people trust, especially thhose of my parents. Beleiveing all being to be responsible and innocent. Unknowingly, I had transformed myself into the almighty angel looking up from the sky, aloft from the cruel world of reality.
I expect people close to me to be like me.
But who am I to do so?
who am I to have expectations from others?
Who am I is to give value judgement on what right or wrong?
Who am I to decree that people should live a life burden by responsibility, weigh by value judgement like little old childish me?

I am the Lion, fearless to give whatever to whoever I hold dear, ruling over all that is around me and protecting all that is dearest and closest to my deep and honest heart.
Forgotten do I that the Lion is just an animal, noble as he is, divine he is not, with no control over time and space, past, future and others outside his realm. But, so strong and intense is his will to undo the wrongs he sees but so weak and feeble is his power to do all the right he wishes.
With his unforgiving heart that is as fiery as fire, while compassionately soft like water. It is unknown if one day, the fire will overrun the water or the water will overcome the fire.
Oh dearest all, I plead, give me the strength and the weapon to overcomes the bad in the heart, give me the hope and love to be forgiving. My fangs are for defence and my mane for hugs. Forgive me if I have ever bitten you and hug me around my mane so that I know that I am forgiven and loved by you.